Episode 4
The Gap Between What People Say and What They Do
Why stated intentions and real behavior diverge, and how clinicians use that gap as information instead of judgment.
Episode summary
Dr. Martinez discusses the everyday gap between what people say they want and what they do, and why it is nearly universal rather than a character flaw.
He explains how clinicians read the gap: it usually points to a competing need — relief, safety, belonging — that the stated goal ignores.
The episode moves toward practice: making goals small enough to survive a bad week, and treating relapse as data instead of failure.
This is an edited written summary of the conversation, not a verbatim transcript.
Highlighted notes
- Not hypocrisy
- The gap usually means a competing need is going unmet.
- Clinical use
- Behavior tells you what the person is actually protecting.
- Design for bad weeks
- Goals that only work on good days are not plans.
Key takeaways
- When you fail a goal, ask what need the old behavior was meeting.
- Shrink the goal until it survives your worst week.
- Shame reliably slows change; curiosity speeds it.
Related care and reading
Pages on this site that cover the same topic as this episode.
- Psychiatrist in Lombard, IL
In-person and telepsychiatry evaluations for adults and adolescents in DuPage County.
- About Dr. Daniel B. Martinez
Twenty-five years of psychiatric practice and the five-domain model.
- Contact the practice
Ask about availability, insurance, and telepsychiatry.
- What is the New Medical Model?
The framework behind every episode of the podcast.
Want care, not just information?
This episode is educational and is not medical advice. For an evaluation, see psychiatric care in Lombard, IL or contact the practice. If you are in crisis, call or text 988.